In the last few months I have very consciously aiming to create a safe space for my children to express their uncomfortable feelings. And I have been surprised at how tied up that is with my own ability to let go of my uncomfortable feelings. I knew it already. I have heard it many times over in my Aware Parenting journey. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how true that is. Sometimes it makes me cringe, because I realise that my children’s difficulties in healing are due to my own blind spots as a mother. At other times, when I do the healing myself, I see the results miraculously reflected in my kids. Then I feel grateful, proud and in awe with the beauty of it all.
In the last few months I have been working very hard, rewriting my story, choosing new empowering beliefs, creating the support I need around me… and releasing, releasing, releasing. Then, one night, putting the kids to bed, I realised that some things have changed in our bed time routine. My daughter used to ask me every night to sing to her. Is one of the Control Patterns she uses to lull her inner unsettled feelings so she can fall asleep. My son used to ask me to hang the bed cover from the top bunk’s railing all the way down to the bottom bunk, where he sleeps, so he would feel safe behind it. Neither of those things have been happening for a while. I smiled to myself. I felt grateful, proud, and in awe with the beauty of it all.
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